No Kids Allowed: Permission To Find Time Alone In A Family Home

Having kids is rewarding, life-affirming, and all the other wonderful things people say it is. If you’ve struggled with lack of purpose in the past, you can be sure those doubts will fade with kids around the place. But, not everything about parenthood is smooth sailing. You will also need to give up a lot of things, such as privacy and personal time.

Despite how it sounds, you’ll be more than willing to make these sacrifices when the time comes. In fact, many new mums wouldn’t take private time if they had the choice. Many are hesitant to be away from their babies for extended periods.

But, after a few years of doing the parenting thing, you may find that you start to crave time to yourself again. For mums, a lot of this is biological. As your child grows able to care for themselves, your grip will loosen. And, when it does, feelings of independence will enter your mind again. Such is the wonderful ability of mothers. There’s just one small issue; finding time for yourself in a family home can seem near enough impossible. Even if you do find the chance, you may feel some guilt over taking it. You’ve been all about someone else for so long that making time for yourself could feel wrong. But, if you don’t get at least some respite when you need it, it won’t be long before things get fraught for everyone. As such, it’s important to permit yourself to do the following.

Lock the bathroom door

This may seem like a simple thing, but it’s surprising how fast you get out of the habit. After all, for the past few years, you’ve been on call 24/7. Even once the kids were in bed, you likely left the door open so you could hear them crying. Even if your partner promised they’d take care of the things, you probably didn’t switch the lock in case your little one wondered where you were.

In truth, though, bathroom time is prime time for self care. Here, you should be able to switch off and be as selfish as you want to be. That means filling the tub as much as you want, using half a bottle of bubble bath, and clearing your mind. And, you aren’t going to do that if there’s a chance of little people barging in at any second. Admittedly, this will become less of an issue as they get older anyway. Kids go from treating your naked body like it doesn’t even exist to seeing it as the most disgusting thing ever. But, even before that stage, you should permit yourself to lock that door. Build the practice if it helps. Try doing this for fifteen minutes one week, half an hour the next. Once you’ve seen that they can survive without you, this could become the perfect place for personal escape.

Prioritise your bedroom

Before having kids, the chances are that you didn’t spend a great deal of time in the bedroom. Now, though, you might want to reconsider that. This is the only place left in your house which is dedicated to adults. As such, it could become a haven, ready whenever you need it. You could sit up here to watch your favourite programmes, read a book, or even listen to some chillout music. You won’t have to put up with bickering kids or toys on the floor. It’ll just be you, yourself, and some peace.

You could make the most of this by injecting a little luxury into the room. A basic bedroom won’t exactly encourage you to spend extended periods of time there. But, splashing out on a bit of decadence could change that. Velvet additions would work amazingly here. And, as you can see from this list of trendy bedroom trends, they’re well in fashion. You could also invest in some decadent bedding and rose gold accessories. These are things the kids might ruin in other rooms in the house. But, that won’t be a worry in your bedroom. So, don’t be afraid to get stuck in and decorate exactly how you want to.

Kick the kids out the front room

Every parent knows that, after school, the living room usually becomes the kids’ domain. They dominate what goes on the television, and chuck their bags all over the sofa. The floor soon gets covered in toys, and fighting children are all you can hear. Yet, most parents reason that this is fine because it’s a family room. And, that’s certainly true sometimes. Your kids have as much right as anyone to be there. But, if you want to watch a programme in peace, you need to permit yourself to kick them out.

This doesn’t mean that you should send them to their rooms for no real reason. But, make it clear that they can either be quiet or play somewhere else. Having been quiet all day, there’s little chance of them taking the first option. In no time, you’ll have the room to yourself without any tantrums. As soon as your programme ends, you can let them carry on with whatever they were doing before.

Arrange correlating playdates

There’s also nothing wrong with arranging playdates for all your kids on one night. The chances are that they’ll ask for these on a regular basis anyway. So, why not plan them all to fall on the same evening? This way, you get the house to yourself for a few hours, and they get to have fun. This time home alone could do you a world of good. You’ll be able to tackle cleaning, get round to things you can’t do when the kids are around, and enjoy the silence. Bear in mind, though, that kids are usually pretty hyper after an evening with friends. Don’t be surprised if a bomb hits once they all arrive home together. Even so, it’ll be worth the aftermath for the time you get to spend to yourself.

 

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