Today’s post is written by a friend and fellow blogger, the lovely Laura from Mind Mood Mommy. Here, she shares a beautifully honest post about her battle with depression…
Depression and Me.
Being a single mum is hard. Especially when you’ve been used to just being one parent. Suddenly you have to be both parents 99% of the time. Factor in depression and anxiety, and you can fast turn into a mess.
As it’s Mental Health Awareness Month this month, I thought I’d share a little (it would be a MUCH longer post if I shared all!) bit about my depression and how it came to rule my life.
At the beginning of this year, my husband of 5 years and partner of 13, decided he no longer wanted to be a family. I was heartbroken. It seemed as though the world was out to get me; I’d had an unpleasant pregnancy with my youngest and a pretty complicated birth, which resulted in me having to have another emergency C-section whilst fighting infection and a large blood loss. At the same time, my husband slipped two discs in his back again and was out of action for 6 weeks (in fact he spent a whole week lying on our bedroom floor as he was unable to move!). Life looked pretty grim and I couldn’t see a way out.
I carried on as best I could, but it put a huge strain on our marriage and back in January this year, it broke us. I assumed the exhaustion and not wanting to get out of bed was just a factor of me getting used to having to do everything. I was wrong. I had been visited by depression. I was weepy (I’m quite an emotional person anyway, so nothing too out of the ordinary there), but I had also become angry. I am not an angry person, I have never been really. I don’t like confrontation and I despise people that are always shouting at their children, yet suddenly I’d become one! That’s when I realised I needed some help.
I went to the doctors who initially wanted me to have anti-depressants. I refused as I didn’t understand at the time that they actually helped. I thought they would just mask the problem instead of deal with it. They also recommended that I tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to try and deal with some of the issues I have.
I am now into my 4th week of CBT and I have to admit, after initially being sceptical, I am noticing a difference. That coupled with me now also being on anti-depressants to rebalance the chemicals in my brain, and I am starting to feel less angry all the time.
I know I have a long way to go before I am myself again, but I feel that I have made the first steps. I am hoping that I can find my positive mental attitude that seems to have deserted me of late and that I can be ‘normal’ again.